Yves GASHUGI 
Urukundo rw’abashakanye akenshi muguhura kwabo bagira intego zo kuzagira urugo rw’cyitegererezo: kuzashakira hamwe amaronko, kubona abana bakinira mu mbuga ndetse n’umunezero mwinshi watuma bafatirwaho urugero muri rubanda. Gusa akenshi urwo ruba ari urugo ruri mu bitekerezo. Bake bashobora gufata ingamba zatuma urwo rugo rubaho , abandi nabo bibagirwa gufata izo ngamba ( ni bimwe muby’ingenzi).
Kubizera (Abakristo) intego nyamukuru yo kubaka urugo si ukubaka amazu meza, gushaka amaronko, ndetse n’ibindi ahubwo intego nyamukuru (ultimate goal of marriage) ni ukugaragaraza umubano wa Kristo n’itorero(Abefeso 5:24-25). Benshi birengagiza iri hame bagahitamo gukundana uko babonye abandi bakundana, cyangwa bagahitamo gukundana uko babibonye muma sinema (Cinema/Film). Nyamara bagakwiye gukundana uko Imana ibishaka. Uko Yesu yatweretse urugero rwiza rw’uburyo akunda Itorero, naryo rikamugandukira niko abagabo bakwiye gukunda abagore babo, nabo bakagandukira abagabo babo. Kubera ko icyo umugore agombwa ni ugukundwa (Love) naho icyo umugabo agombwa ni ukugandukirwa (Respect).
Mu minsi mikeya ishize abantu benshi batangajwe n’inkuru yuko umwe mubabaye abakire bambere ku isi yatandukanye n’uwo bashakanye. Abantu bagiye babyakira bitandukanye bamwe babigaragariza kumbuga nkoranyambaga ariko bamwe bashima guceceka ntiberekana uruhande barimo.
Bill gates, umugabo w’imyaka 66 y’amavuko uzwi cyane nka rwiyemezamirimo, umushoramari, ndetse n’umuhanga mw’ikoranabuhanga akaba n’umwe mubayoboke b’idini rikomeye mu isi yatandukanye n’umugore we Melinda gates. Bari bamaranye imyaka 27 babana ndetse n’imyaka 34 bahuye (couple) bakunze kumvwa cyane mubikorwa byo gufasha abatishoboye.
Twirebyeho twe dusigaye, Ese niki Imana idushakaho?
Mbese ntiyaremye umwe, naho yari afite umwuka usagutse? Icyatumye arema umwe ni ki? Ni uko yashakaga urubyaro rwubaha Imana. Nuko rero murinde imitima yanyu hatagira uriganya umugore wo mu busore bwe. Kuko nanga gusenda, niko uwiteka Imana ya isirayeli ivuga (Malaki 2:15-16A).
Amagi yavamo ibyana by’inzo ntahindurwa ayavamo ibishwi by’inkoko bitewe n’uko yitahweho. Burigihe icyiza kiva mububiko bwiza(Luka6:45). Uko ni ko abagize urugo badahindurwa beza ari uko bamaze gushinga urwabo ahubwo ruba rwiza bitewe n’abagiye gushakana beza. Imana yaremye umugabo n’umugore umwe kandi nubwo byari gushoboka yuko Imana iremera umugabo umugore urenze umwe. Umugore yitoze kuzuza ibyo asabwa n’umugabo nawe akore utyo mbere yuko bashinga urugo. Kuko uwo yakuremeye irashaka ko mugumana mukuzuzanya.
Imana yanga gatanya (Divorce), nubwo umwe ashobora kuyikora agirango yirengere kuko umubano uba ugeze ahabi ariko amahitamo y’umuntu siyo y’Imana. Ntabwo ikintu kizahinduka ukuri bitewe n’ingano yabagihisemo ahubwo kiba ukuri uko Imana ikigena mubyanditswe byera. (Matayo19:8 Arabasubiza ati “Mose yabemereye gusenda abagore banyu kuko imitima yanyu inangiye, ariko uhereye mbere hose ntibyari bimeze bityo)
Tugana ku musozo, gatanya si umugambi w’Imana ni umugambi wa satani mukurimbura urubyaro rw’abantu binyuze mukutumvikana. Mu magambo duhugurirwa n’Ijambo ry’Imana ni uko ababiri baruta umwe kandi kubana kwiza kuva mukunganirana, kwihanganirana, guhugurana ndetse no kwakirana. Kuko ubudasa bwacu ndetse n’urukundo Imana iduha rwo gukunda abandi ni urwo gutuma habaho ubusabane no gukuzanya (Umubwiriza4:12). Icyo umubyeyi akoze umwana akigiraho bityo twite kucyo Imana ishaka kitazatuzanira akaga ndetse kakaza no ku rubyaro rwacu.(Zaburi132:11-12).
Imana ibahe umugisha mwinshi. Iyi nkuru iramfashije cyane. Nibyo koko dukwiye kwitoza gutanga ndetse no kuba isoko y’ibyiza aho gutegereza kuzabivoma mu bandi. Ibi birenze no kubana kw’abashakanye ahubwo n’abanyetorero haricyo ryakwigira muri iyi mibanire , bakabana nk’abagize umubiri wa Kristo umwe.